Some Advice for the Anointed One.

A few lessons in being President; You don't release records of interrogation methods to the public,because now our enemies know how far we are willing to go. -If you release these records ;then you must release all of them. This includes the records of how many terror attacks we have stopped using these methods. -Show the congressional records of support for these methods.I'm sure there are plenty of Dems that signed off on these techniques and approved of them.Techniques that amount to nothing more than an elaborate frat house hazing hijinks. And, if it was your family that was at risk, you know that every technique ; including waterboarding, would be acceptable. -When a communist dictator, like Chavez,hands you a book that bashes this country ; you don't accept it.You look him straight in the eye, and say,"I was elected to lead, not to read." _You don't start war crime hearings because you will expose two things; One, that the war was , in fact, justified,and two,that most Democrats backed it fully; including Nancy Pelosi. -And last , but not least,if you are going to use Air Force One to take some pictures of the Statue Of Liberty,without informing trhe public;at least make the photos of Lady Liberty more interesting using Photoshop.I think a shot of the Statue half buried in the sand on a beach; with a loinclothed Charlton Heston staring up at it in horror, while screaming , Damn you all to hell!!" would probably be more appropriate for this administration and its policies.

Captain Obama and the Pirates

I would just like to congratulate President Obama for his sucessful "Apologize for Bush and ban nuclear weapons in America tour".However, I have a few suggestions to help spruce up his image and help prevent the British and German press from labeling him "chatty, boring and meek" as they have done this time. First, bring some entertainment with you next time. The Dixie Chicks would be perfect. While you're apologizing for America's arrogance ; the Chicks could be in the background,singing and dancing and dropping the occaisional "F" Bush" just to liven things up. Also; why not do T.V. commercials for car products? Since the president apparently wants to run GM anyway,why not do a few T.v spots for Midas Mufflers?Hell, If it helped George Foreman sell some grills,it should sure help the Pres.sell a porkulus bill or two.Maybe some spots for a Used Car lot also.After all ,he seems to have natural car salesman skills, so much so that I think he missed his true calling in life; standing in a GM lot, in a plaid jacket , schmoozing with customers as he talks them into 'extended warrantees' on partsAnd last but not least,why not really promote his appearance at Notre Dame University. Sure, he believes in late term abortions,sure the Catholic university believes in the sanctity of life,but that problem can be worked out out with a simple change of slogan. Instead of Notre Dames current one,"The Fighting Irish"; they could change it in honor of the President's visit.  I think the,'Sit down and talk without preconditions Irish",sounds about right,and it will always serve as a reminder of the "anointed ones" visit to their very prestigious, very Catholic uiniversity. Talk about great press for the President,Huh?. And as far as the Somali Pirate situation goes,let me congratulate the Navy seals for a fantastic rescue operation that seemed right out of a James Bond movie. The President did, of course , authorize the mission and the only question now is how Joe Biden will find a way to take credit for it's sucess.I'm sure he'll think of something. Now' to prevent this type of thing from happening in the future I recommend that the Pres. appoint a special Pirate Advisor. I think Johnny Depp would be quite suitable.After all , who knows more about pirates and their habits than  Capt. Jack Sparrow himself? We could send him over there to talk to them,gain their confidence,and then take over as their leader . Then, with Depp as Captain ,he could order them to steer the ship into our waters where we just clap the bracelets right on them. What could be easier? It sure beats actually getting aggressive and acting like the commander in chief of our armed forces,doesn't it?Hell, that's why these countries don't like us,and after all, that is Obama's ultimate goal isn't it? To have all these countries think we are just swell.  Time to wake up Mr. President. Get out of the Health care business, get out of the Banking business , get out of the car business,and start acting like the commander in chief. Stop talking health care when pirates have taken an American ship and it's Captain.Stop bowing to Saudi princes . The U.S President doesn't bow to anyone. We are the number one force for good in the world . Without us; the world as we know it would fall into economic and militaristic chaos ,and you know it.We have nothing to apoligize for,and we never will. The U.S. has freed more people and destroyed more tyrants than any nation on earth and the world is the better for it. We don't care if countries hate us. As long as they also respect us.

Relief Pitcher; Sarah Palin

Barack Obama had himself a busy week.During which, he has managed to lie about the AIG bailout bonuses,along with his henchmen Dodd and Geitner;To call for all injured soldiers to pay for their own health care ,and last but not least;to insult people who compete in the Special Olympics. This is the Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces? He knew the the AIG bonuses were in the original contract and he knows that the main responsibility of a sitting president is to protect and defend this country and it's soldiers that give their lives toward this end. He goes on Jay Leno and makes fun of his bowling skills by deriding  Special Olympic competitors.This is the man who was touted to be smarter than George Bush?What nonsense.George Bush's school records have been released, Mr. President, how about yours? Of course I can readily understand why he won't release them. Anyone who thanks himself during a speech because his teleprompter told him to obviously ain't a rocket scientist. Hope and Change? Yeah; let's "Hope" we can "Change" Presidents real soon. I'm sure Sarah Palin is ready to step in at a moments notice.You know Pres. Obama, the crude hick who didn't have any experience? Except for running an entire state ,that is. Long live George Bush!!

Go ahead; make my Sunday!!

Should school cops carry guns? Is the Pope a Kraut? This is a no brainer.We send our children to these schools under the condition that they will be in a safe environment with instructors that will protect them. Not only should school cops carry guns; but the teachers should be armed too. These wackos know they are in "gun free" zones  and  feel secure in the knowledge that they can commit their brazen atrocities without fear of retaliation. And with the recent shooting of a Pastor during a church sermon in Illinois; I think the idea of arming our pastors, priests , and rabbi's is not only an option, but a necessity. Church should be a santuary of peace, in which people can commune with God , without fear of some lunatic pulling a stunt like this. Remember,they do it because they know there will be no retaliation. After all, it's church. Who arms themseves in church? Well I think it's high time that all clergymen take heed;pack some heat,and protect their parishoners .Remember, even Jesus instructed the Apostles to carry swords with them, during their travels into strange towns to heal people. Teachers and clergymen have a duty and an obligation to protect those whose lives have been intrusted to them; or to put it another way; "Go ahead punk, make my Sunday!!"

Obama , Following in the British Tradition

I find it surprising that Obama is showing such disdain for the British. He returns the bust of Churchill , and gives Prime Minister Gordon a gift  of movie DVD's which, in light of Gordon's gift of a pen set carved from the wood of a famous British battleship,proves the old adage that it's not the gift , but the thoughtlessness that counts. Actually' Obama should like the British; first, he seems bound and determined to emulate their tax system from the 1700's ; and secondly' his method of dealing with mideastern terrorists is similar to another Gordon; the British hero, General Charles Gordon. In 1883, the General  volunteered to be sent to Khartoum ,Sudan , where thousands of civilians were being threatened by Muslim fanatics; led by a man simply called the Mahdi. Like Obama, Gordon thinks he can walk on water and just say the magic words that will just melt the radical terrorists hearts and solve the problem . Like Obama, the General fails to understand that the Mahdi is following  Allah's will ,and therefore all the infidels within the city walls must be slaughtered in accordance with that will. The massacre was carried out and the great miracle worker Gordon died a hero's death trying to defend the beseiged city. A life sized bronzed statue of General Gordon on horseback still stands in England , a tribute to his courage , not to mention his arrogance and stupidity. Since Obama sent back the bust of Churchill , perhaps PrimeMinister Gordon should send him the statue of Gen. Gordon to replace it; since Obama seems determined to follow in the Generals footsteps, and he sure ain't no Chuchill, that's for sure. In fact,it may be the only way to save his God like image , as his presidency continues to fail under his spendulous " plan which is bankrupting the country. He could make that trip to the middle east to emulate Gordon , fall like a British hero, while trying to "reason" with Bin Laden in Afghanistan. Who knows? He might even get a bronze statue of himself out of it , maybe even on horseback! After all, never let it be said that we forget our heroes!

The Stimulus Bill for Dummies

Let me sum up ,in clear as crystal language,President Obama's simulus plan speech from the other night. "My fellow Americans, I intend to tax the rich corporate scum out of existence , which , of course will bankrupt the country, increase debt and force everyone on the dole of the few hard working taxpayers who somehow survive my plan. The increase in taxes on corporations will force small businesses to pay more for the goods that they use for their operations, thereby forcing them to lay off more employees and send their companies overseas, where low taxes make doing business profitable. This will, of course, create more unemployment, and even the jobs that my " stimulus plan" creates will be gone, since they are all " make work" jobs that do not produce anything, but simply create more tax burdens on the working man that must now pay the salary of someone building a bridge, or tennis court, or cleaning out a swamp to preserve some "swamp mouse" for Nancy Pelosi. But, my fellow Americans, there is a positive side to all this mess. You,the struggling, out of work citizen who prefers to sit on his couch, eating cheetos, and watching Oprah in the afternoon, will now be able to sleep soundly at night, because those rich, hateful, corporate fat cats that you spent so much of your life envying because they had more than you will now be reduced to your level. Yes, my fellow Americans, you will not be any better off than you are now, but at least you will have gotten revenge on the rich at last. Thank You, and God Bless the United States of America.  I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message.

From Racism to Tarzan; In one easy lesson

Eric Holder, our new Attorney General, has called the citizens of the U.S "racial cowards".Cowards Mr. Holder?You mean the cowards that fought and died in the revoulution to assure freedom for all men? Or the cowards that fought and died in the Civil War to bring about the end to slavery in our country; and then waged a political war to assure that the freed Black man would have the right to keep and bear arms to defend that freedom from those who would try to take it from them? You are the coward Mr. Holder.You hide behind non- existent race issues that this country bled to eliminate while you try to get the  Second Amendment repealed .The very Amendment that insured free men had the right to defend that freedom. Remember Mr. Holder ; you can't beat , bully or lynch an armed citizen.The Second Amendment truly made them free. Now, the second issue on the subject of racism; the cartoon depicting cops shooting a chimp was a comment on the stimulus bill and a crazy woman's pet that had to be shot, after it had mauled her unsuspecting friend .The key word here is Wild. This was a wild animal ; and as such should never have been living in this woman's house like a roomate.But as far as claiming racism in the cartoon,this is ridiculous. Nancy Pelosi and congress wrote the stimulous bill ,not Obama. If anyone should be insulted, it should be chimpanzees for being compared to  Pelosi and congress.  Now, as far as the killing of the chimp goes, all I have to say is; Why did it take so long?He should have been taken out much sooner , since he had attacked people previously. Remember the golden rule in owning animals; wild or domestic.If you can't take him in a fight,you should not have him as a pet. Even Mike Henry, who played Tarzan in several films in the late sixties,was attacked on set by a chimp that was playing the role of Tarzan's beloved Cheetah.Henry wound up suing the movie's producer , Sy Weintraub,and had to get plastic surgery to boot . The lesson here is simple;If Tarzan, the King of the Jungle and the Lord of the Apes can't handle a chimp,what chance do the rest of us have ? So heed the warning of Tarzan's dilemma and avoid making wild animals your pals.Otherwise, you'll wind up in a long court  battle ; either suing the owner of the creature that attacked you or getting sued by an angry actor in a loincloth for unsafe working conditions and physical injuries. Not to mention the possibility of being accused of racism somewhere along the way . Hey, there's a reason Tarzan carries a knife, and it ain't for shaving!