Captain Obama and the Pirates

I would just like to congratulate President Obama for his sucessful "Apologize for Bush and ban nuclear weapons in America tour".However, I have a few suggestions to help spruce up his image and help prevent the British and German press from labeling him "chatty, boring and meek" as they have done this time. First, bring some entertainment with you next time. The Dixie Chicks would be perfect. While you're apologizing for America's arrogance ; the Chicks could be in the background,singing and dancing and dropping the occaisional "F" Bush" just to liven things up. Also; why not do T.V. commercials for car products? Since the president apparently wants to run GM anyway,why not do a few T.v spots for Midas Mufflers?Hell, If it helped George Foreman sell some grills,it should sure help the Pres.sell a porkulus bill or two.Maybe some spots for a Used Car lot also.After all ,he seems to have natural car salesman skills, so much so that I think he missed his true calling in life; standing in a GM lot, in a plaid jacket , schmoozing with customers as he talks them into 'extended warrantees' on partsAnd last but not least,why not really promote his appearance at Notre Dame University. Sure, he believes in late term abortions,sure the Catholic university believes in the sanctity of life,but that problem can be worked out out with a simple change of slogan. Instead of Notre Dames current one,"The Fighting Irish"; they could change it in honor of the President's visit.  I think the,'Sit down and talk without preconditions Irish",sounds about right,and it will always serve as a reminder of the "anointed ones" visit to their very prestigious, very Catholic uiniversity. Talk about great press for the President,Huh?. And as far as the Somali Pirate situation goes,let me congratulate the Navy seals for a fantastic rescue operation that seemed right out of a James Bond movie. The President did, of course , authorize the mission and the only question now is how Joe Biden will find a way to take credit for it's sucess.I'm sure he'll think of something. Now' to prevent this type of thing from happening in the future I recommend that the Pres. appoint a special Pirate Advisor. I think Johnny Depp would be quite suitable.After all , who knows more about pirates and their habits than  Capt. Jack Sparrow himself? We could send him over there to talk to them,gain their confidence,and then take over as their leader . Then, with Depp as Captain ,he could order them to steer the ship into our waters where we just clap the bracelets right on them. What could be easier? It sure beats actually getting aggressive and acting like the commander in chief of our armed forces,doesn't it?Hell, that's why these countries don't like us,and after all, that is Obama's ultimate goal isn't it? To have all these countries think we are just swell.  Time to wake up Mr. President. Get out of the Health care business, get out of the Banking business , get out of the car business,and start acting like the commander in chief. Stop talking health care when pirates have taken an American ship and it's Captain.Stop bowing to Saudi princes . The U.S President doesn't bow to anyone. We are the number one force for good in the world . Without us; the world as we know it would fall into economic and militaristic chaos ,and you know it.We have nothing to apoligize for,and we never will. The U.S. has freed more people and destroyed more tyrants than any nation on earth and the world is the better for it. We don't care if countries hate us. As long as they also respect us.