The Stimulus Bill for Dummies

Let me sum up ,in clear as crystal language,President Obama's simulus plan speech from the other night. "My fellow Americans, I intend to tax the rich corporate scum out of existence , which , of course will bankrupt the country, increase debt and force everyone on the dole of the few hard working taxpayers who somehow survive my plan. The increase in taxes on corporations will force small businesses to pay more for the goods that they use for their operations, thereby forcing them to lay off more employees and send their companies overseas, where low taxes make doing business profitable. This will, of course, create more unemployment, and even the jobs that my " stimulus plan" creates will be gone, since they are all " make work" jobs that do not produce anything, but simply create more tax burdens on the working man that must now pay the salary of someone building a bridge, or tennis court, or cleaning out a swamp to preserve some "swamp mouse" for Nancy Pelosi. But, my fellow Americans, there is a positive side to all this mess. You,the struggling, out of work citizen who prefers to sit on his couch, eating cheetos, and watching Oprah in the afternoon, will now be able to sleep soundly at night, because those rich, hateful, corporate fat cats that you spent so much of your life envying because they had more than you will now be reduced to your level. Yes, my fellow Americans, you will not be any better off than you are now, but at least you will have gotten revenge on the rich at last. Thank You, and God Bless the United States of America.  I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message.

From Racism to Tarzan; In one easy lesson

Eric Holder, our new Attorney General, has called the citizens of the U.S "racial cowards".Cowards Mr. Holder?You mean the cowards that fought and died in the revoulution to assure freedom for all men? Or the cowards that fought and died in the Civil War to bring about the end to slavery in our country; and then waged a political war to assure that the freed Black man would have the right to keep and bear arms to defend that freedom from those who would try to take it from them? You are the coward Mr. Holder.You hide behind non- existent race issues that this country bled to eliminate while you try to get the  Second Amendment repealed .The very Amendment that insured free men had the right to defend that freedom. Remember Mr. Holder ; you can't beat , bully or lynch an armed citizen.The Second Amendment truly made them free. Now, the second issue on the subject of racism; the cartoon depicting cops shooting a chimp was a comment on the stimulus bill and a crazy woman's pet that had to be shot, after it had mauled her unsuspecting friend .The key word here is Wild. This was a wild animal ; and as such should never have been living in this woman's house like a roomate.But as far as claiming racism in the cartoon,this is ridiculous. Nancy Pelosi and congress wrote the stimulous bill ,not Obama. If anyone should be insulted, it should be chimpanzees for being compared to  Pelosi and congress.  Now, as far as the killing of the chimp goes, all I have to say is; Why did it take so long?He should have been taken out much sooner , since he had attacked people previously. Remember the golden rule in owning animals; wild or domestic.If you can't take him in a fight,you should not have him as a pet. Even Mike Henry, who played Tarzan in several films in the late sixties,was attacked on set by a chimp that was playing the role of Tarzan's beloved Cheetah.Henry wound up suing the movie's producer , Sy Weintraub,and had to get plastic surgery to boot . The lesson here is simple;If Tarzan, the King of the Jungle and the Lord of the Apes can't handle a chimp,what chance do the rest of us have ? So heed the warning of Tarzan's dilemma and avoid making wild animals your pals.Otherwise, you'll wind up in a long court  battle ; either suing the owner of the creature that attacked you or getting sued by an angry actor in a loincloth for unsafe working conditions and physical injuries. Not to mention the possibility of being accused of racism somewhere along the way . Hey, there's a reason Tarzan carries a knife, and it ain't for shaving!

Instant Karma for Bush Bashers!

To those who continue to bash President Bush and call for him to be charged with war crimes ; It's over.Bush won twice. He got Saddam and sons and a whole lot of terrorists,and Iraq now has free elections and no more rape and torture rooms . Bush is retired on his  Texas ranch , and having a well deserved , good ol' fashioned home style BBQ to celebrate.You didn't get him. Get over it. But, it's not all that bleak, because you see, now it's our turn.Obama's President and now the fun begins.But, don't worry Bush bashers.We conservative Republicans will treat your President with the same amount of respect you showed ours.  So, as Bettie Davis once said; fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride! For liberals that is. And, with the appointment of a tax dodge as Secretary of the Treasury and a "Stimulus bill" designed to bankrupt the country;it may be a bumpy ride for all of us.