Well, the verdict is in, and Al Gore's Global warming scare has turned out to be nothing more than "An Inconvenient Myth". After all, you can't have global warming unless the entire globe is warming. That's why the word "Global" is part of the description. When the North Pole is warming and the South Pole is in a deep freeze,it kinda makes the whole theory lose some of it's luster.Yes, most leading scientist have now come forward and stated the obvious, that whatever warming cycle is currently happening, it is the result of the earth;s natural cycles , and not me leaving the living room lights on all night.
So I guess you might say that a liberal views the earth as half melting and a conservative views it as half frozen. But, this is no reason for Al Gore to despair over his lost cash cow , after all, ther are plenty of other worthy myths that could use Al's help.How about Bigfoot for instance? This creature needs to be protected, not exploited just to sell beef jerky, for God's sake.And I'm sure Al could put together one hell of a slide show for this one!
How about the Loch Ness monster?Al could make the case for ending the persecution of this creature by goofy monster hunters.The Scots should stick to drinking whiskey, playing golf and eating Haggis, and stop profiting off of Loch Monster merchandise!
Now, if these causes are too mundane for Mr. Gore, how about Mars?It's been reported that Mars may be in danger of being hit by a meteor, potentially wiping the planet out.Mr. Gore could go on an epic crosscountry crusade,raising money and awareness for Mars's plight.Al could explain that mars is essential to the survival of the human race, since we will have to move there after we turn this world into an unbearable Dante's Inferno , with our shameless leaving of kitchen lights on and wasteful Sunday afternoon drives.This could really be Al's ticket back to stardom. He could really be instrumental in saving all life on Earth, by finding a way to prevent that meteor from destroying our new home.And in gratitude. Ithink it only fitting that we honor him properly, namely by declaring him emperor of Mars.What a Martian leader he would be! He certainly would'nt let us ruin this planet, that's for sure.No kitchen lights left on needlessly on this planet, no way!
I also feel that we should appoint Hillary Clinton as Emperess of Mars.Why you ask? Well you know if we don't give her the position, there is a very strong possibility that she will cry. Do we really want to risk that again?
